The university life can be daunting at times, but this year the challenge begins at the parking deck. I have heard so many of my classmates complaining this week ab0ut a difficulty parking. This is the number one reason for students walking in late to class. I confess, it is a bit crowded out there, but I don't see this as a hindrance. I look at this as a possibility that the recession is forcing more people, young and old, back into the academic world to prepare a better position for themselves when this economic slump has recovered. There are those who finished a bachelor's degree last year only to realize that there is nothing in the job market for them now. For these, it seems reasonable to head back to graduate school this fall so that when openings are available again, they will be more qualified. There are also those who just finished high school with no entry level positions available. I think the Arkansas lottery scholarship is helping many of those out financially with an opportunity to find an academic niche.
As I parked my car on the seventh floor (that's the top for those of you who have never made it up there) of the parking deck and took a glance at my bustling university campus down below, I felt a sense of pride in Arkansas and what the future might hold for our state with a more educated population. Let's embrace this moment and leave the house earlier to arrive to class on time, checking the complaints about parking at the door.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Where Do We Go From Here
A little over a year into this administration, President Obama is finally delivering on his campaign promises to provide healthcare for all Americans and he is warning his naysayers that comprehensive immigration reform is next on his short list. There's no question that this will provide for an equally divisive debate in America if not a harsher one. Since signing the new healthcare legislation into law, America's Tea Partiers, "Palinites", and just plain sore losers in the Republican Party have shown their true colors. From impulsive cursing on primetime television by the "moral party" to death threats, emotions have run rampant this month among both parties.
Television news shows are praising the President for what he has accomplished. As I listen to those opposing what seems to be every issue that President Obama attempts to address, I find it difficult to trace the real theme that the "party of no" is clinging to. Is it big government that they are so afraid of? I think there is more. After all, when big government was working for them for the past eight years they didn't seem to have a problem with it. I listened to one interview in which two Republicans on the panel claimed that given the choice, they would do away with social security and find their own ways to invest that money. Are comments like this really going to win them votes in November and in 2012?
I fully believe that President Bush would have signed any legislation brought before him by his party regarding healthcare, but they didn't ask. They instead sat on the sidelines while an astronomical amount of taxpayers' money was spent on a war that a majority of Americans didn't believe in. Was President Bush listening to the people? It was said on Larry King Live this week that a President who refuses to listen to the people is sure to be a one termer, and yet Americans allowed a second term for President Bush.
It's true that our nation came under attack in 2001, and we did the right thing to address that. Since then, however, we have fought a War on Terror that has stripped us of our own liberties. Our government has behaved shamefully in its treatment of prisoners. Cititzens in our own country have died becuase of the lack of access to quality healthcare, while we have spent an obscene amount of money to provide for democracy abroad. Still Sarah Palin has a huge following of Americans following her across the nation ranting about big government and what it does with their tax dollars.
I think it is time for Americans to get behind this President who is in fact getting things done for this country. It is refreshing to many of us to see what has happened this past week at our nation's Capitol. I hope that as the President tackles big issues in the future like immigration reform, repealing "Don't ask, Don't tell", marriage equality, and many other issues that in fact do matter to many of us, that we will stand behind this President who has shown that he wants to provide for a government that works for all of us. All we see on television now are the opponents of the President, but huge amounts of us voted for this change and I think it's time that we own it. Let's support President Obama in providing America with "change we can believe in" and let us not forget what it felt like to take our country back from the oppressiveness that has shadowed over us for the past eight years. The fact is that it is patriotic to defend our President and we need to join together as he tries to build a new framework for a successful nation. Repair of the old system has proven to be not good enough and will be an utter waste of time that will be better spent on getting things done for the common good of our nation's people. Peace!
Television news shows are praising the President for what he has accomplished. As I listen to those opposing what seems to be every issue that President Obama attempts to address, I find it difficult to trace the real theme that the "party of no" is clinging to. Is it big government that they are so afraid of? I think there is more. After all, when big government was working for them for the past eight years they didn't seem to have a problem with it. I listened to one interview in which two Republicans on the panel claimed that given the choice, they would do away with social security and find their own ways to invest that money. Are comments like this really going to win them votes in November and in 2012?
I fully believe that President Bush would have signed any legislation brought before him by his party regarding healthcare, but they didn't ask. They instead sat on the sidelines while an astronomical amount of taxpayers' money was spent on a war that a majority of Americans didn't believe in. Was President Bush listening to the people? It was said on Larry King Live this week that a President who refuses to listen to the people is sure to be a one termer, and yet Americans allowed a second term for President Bush.
It's true that our nation came under attack in 2001, and we did the right thing to address that. Since then, however, we have fought a War on Terror that has stripped us of our own liberties. Our government has behaved shamefully in its treatment of prisoners. Cititzens in our own country have died becuase of the lack of access to quality healthcare, while we have spent an obscene amount of money to provide for democracy abroad. Still Sarah Palin has a huge following of Americans following her across the nation ranting about big government and what it does with their tax dollars.
I think it is time for Americans to get behind this President who is in fact getting things done for this country. It is refreshing to many of us to see what has happened this past week at our nation's Capitol. I hope that as the President tackles big issues in the future like immigration reform, repealing "Don't ask, Don't tell", marriage equality, and many other issues that in fact do matter to many of us, that we will stand behind this President who has shown that he wants to provide for a government that works for all of us. All we see on television now are the opponents of the President, but huge amounts of us voted for this change and I think it's time that we own it. Let's support President Obama in providing America with "change we can believe in" and let us not forget what it felt like to take our country back from the oppressiveness that has shadowed over us for the past eight years. The fact is that it is patriotic to defend our President and we need to join together as he tries to build a new framework for a successful nation. Repair of the old system has proven to be not good enough and will be an utter waste of time that will be better spent on getting things done for the common good of our nation's people. Peace!
Monday, January 4, 2010
A Perfect Humanity
God's creation is good. I'm serious on this one. No matter what your classmate, the best friend of your mother, or your father's secretary tells you, you should muster up the courage to look that person in the eye and say, "Shame on you. God didn't create trash or anything undesirable for that matter."
Moby's song In This World begs our Lord to "not leave me all by myself." We know he won't. God is with us always and forever, in good times, hard times, and bad times.
In Genesis, we are told that God looked at his creation and it was good. It still is good. We humans share an inherent goodness, always with possibility of betterment of humanity. Sure, we sometimes have the capacity to hurt people profoundly, yet we also have the capacity to help people by showing love, kindness, charity, and good will. This is our commandment: to love our neighbors as ourselves.
If we simply live this commandment in our daily lives, then God's creation was, is, and always will be good. This is a promise God made and God doesn't break promises!
Moby's song In This World begs our Lord to "not leave me all by myself." We know he won't. God is with us always and forever, in good times, hard times, and bad times.
In Genesis, we are told that God looked at his creation and it was good. It still is good. We humans share an inherent goodness, always with possibility of betterment of humanity. Sure, we sometimes have the capacity to hurt people profoundly, yet we also have the capacity to help people by showing love, kindness, charity, and good will. This is our commandment: to love our neighbors as ourselves.
If we simply live this commandment in our daily lives, then God's creation was, is, and always will be good. This is a promise God made and God doesn't break promises!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Nonprofit Organizations Have Many Needs for 2010
I woke up on New Year’s Day refreshed and enlivened with enthusiasm for what 2010 might have in store for Arkansas. The Pilsbury cinnamon rolls and Coca Cola that I had for a late breakfast with a friend had already, by noon, defeated one of my New Year’s resolutions. The mid afternoon popping of the cork of a bottle of Chateau Ste Michelle only weakened my resolve. My friend tells me this is acceptable as New Year’s Day is the holiday and not yet counted in the practice of attainment of one’s New Year’s resolutions, so better luck tomorrow. I think he just made that rule up, but I’ll adopt his way of thinking for 2010 anyway.
I have to say 2009 was a tough year for many here in Arkansas. The Recession took its toll on entities that I never would have imagined being affected. Layoffs in the Arkansas workforce have led many to lose their homes. It’s caused families and single people alike to reevaluate their standard of living and readjust accordingly. The current economic climate has fostered a humbling in most if not all of us.
Not exempt from the damning effects of the economy are the many nonprofit organizations in the area. These organizations rely not only on fundraising or private donations, but also on some government funding. When Governor Beebe was forced to slash the state budget in October, primarily to the Department of Health and the Department of Corrections, I never would have expected the consequences to the Arkansas Aids Foundation, an already struggling nonprofit that provides much needed services to the people affected by HIV and AIDS here in central Arkansas, myself included.
To make the public aware of the extremity of the situation, I’ll share a very personal example, yet one that I hope will raise awareness about the issue in the area. I had been receiving assistance from the Arkansas Aids Foundation to pay for my own medications which were in the thousands of dollars monthly range. I do carry some health insurance, but it required a fifty percent co-pay for my prescriptions. The monthly pharmacy bill for these types of prescriptions would be unattainable for even many of the wealthiest Arkansans. Therefore, I relied for years on this support from the Aids Foundation.
In November, I learned that because the Health Department lost so much funding in the state budget, they would not be able to assist the Aids Foundation financially as they had been doing in years past. This left the Aids Foundation with the hard task of figuring out how to maintain an effective organization while paring back there services, thus keeping their doors open until times get better. Clients were told that where the Aids Foundation had been able to pay for their drugs in the past, they were now being forced to place a monthly cap of fifty dollars per month for medication for their clients. This was a drastic decline from the nearly 1000 dollars per month that they had been helping me with.
I was in a strange category of clients. I wasn’t uninsured as most clients were, but I was certainly underinsured. I didn’t qualify for Medicaid or any other type of government assistance. When I applied with the drug companies for patient assistance programs, I was turned down because I was not uninsured. Therefore, I just stopped taking my medications. Only recently did I find assistance that I needed elsewhere at Jefferson Comprehensive Care, another organization in the area that helps with medical needs of those affected by HIV or AIDS. They helped me get approved for a 100% patient assistance program with Bristol- Myers Squibb, thus allowing me to start the New Year back on my medication.
I’ve allowed the public this glimpse into the window of a very personal part of my life, in hopes of raising awareness for our communities. If there are philanthropists, community organizers, or activists in the community with the means to help with fundraising for any of these organizations, it is so desperately needed. There is a growing need in Arkansas for assistance for people of all backgrounds with issues concerning their healthcare.
As we head into 2010 and make New Year’s resolutions, I hope we will plan to help these nonprofits in any way that our resources allow. I can’t help them financially now, as I am a struggling college student myself. What I can do, though, is honestly express my own personal experiences to the public to show that real people here in Arkansas, not just many children in Africa, are struggling to have their healthcare needs met. I feel that the nation is beginning to take a closer look at the needs of the marginalized here at home. I hope that Arkansas will not fall behind in joining the nation in what I believe will be a pivotal point in American history where all people are afforded appropriate healthcare as well as civil liberties.
I have to say 2009 was a tough year for many here in Arkansas. The Recession took its toll on entities that I never would have imagined being affected. Layoffs in the Arkansas workforce have led many to lose their homes. It’s caused families and single people alike to reevaluate their standard of living and readjust accordingly. The current economic climate has fostered a humbling in most if not all of us.
Not exempt from the damning effects of the economy are the many nonprofit organizations in the area. These organizations rely not only on fundraising or private donations, but also on some government funding. When Governor Beebe was forced to slash the state budget in October, primarily to the Department of Health and the Department of Corrections, I never would have expected the consequences to the Arkansas Aids Foundation, an already struggling nonprofit that provides much needed services to the people affected by HIV and AIDS here in central Arkansas, myself included.
To make the public aware of the extremity of the situation, I’ll share a very personal example, yet one that I hope will raise awareness about the issue in the area. I had been receiving assistance from the Arkansas Aids Foundation to pay for my own medications which were in the thousands of dollars monthly range. I do carry some health insurance, but it required a fifty percent co-pay for my prescriptions. The monthly pharmacy bill for these types of prescriptions would be unattainable for even many of the wealthiest Arkansans. Therefore, I relied for years on this support from the Aids Foundation.
In November, I learned that because the Health Department lost so much funding in the state budget, they would not be able to assist the Aids Foundation financially as they had been doing in years past. This left the Aids Foundation with the hard task of figuring out how to maintain an effective organization while paring back there services, thus keeping their doors open until times get better. Clients were told that where the Aids Foundation had been able to pay for their drugs in the past, they were now being forced to place a monthly cap of fifty dollars per month for medication for their clients. This was a drastic decline from the nearly 1000 dollars per month that they had been helping me with.
I was in a strange category of clients. I wasn’t uninsured as most clients were, but I was certainly underinsured. I didn’t qualify for Medicaid or any other type of government assistance. When I applied with the drug companies for patient assistance programs, I was turned down because I was not uninsured. Therefore, I just stopped taking my medications. Only recently did I find assistance that I needed elsewhere at Jefferson Comprehensive Care, another organization in the area that helps with medical needs of those affected by HIV or AIDS. They helped me get approved for a 100% patient assistance program with Bristol- Myers Squibb, thus allowing me to start the New Year back on my medication.
I’ve allowed the public this glimpse into the window of a very personal part of my life, in hopes of raising awareness for our communities. If there are philanthropists, community organizers, or activists in the community with the means to help with fundraising for any of these organizations, it is so desperately needed. There is a growing need in Arkansas for assistance for people of all backgrounds with issues concerning their healthcare.
As we head into 2010 and make New Year’s resolutions, I hope we will plan to help these nonprofits in any way that our resources allow. I can’t help them financially now, as I am a struggling college student myself. What I can do, though, is honestly express my own personal experiences to the public to show that real people here in Arkansas, not just many children in Africa, are struggling to have their healthcare needs met. I feel that the nation is beginning to take a closer look at the needs of the marginalized here at home. I hope that Arkansas will not fall behind in joining the nation in what I believe will be a pivotal point in American history where all people are afforded appropriate healthcare as well as civil liberties.
Monday, December 14, 2009
A Christmas Card for America
"It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." Watching the Oprah Winfrey Christmas in the White House special during prime time last night, I couldn't help but discern the many ups and downs, ins and outs, and twists and turns that we have collectively experienced as a nation in 2009. Please forgive me if the eloquence of our dearest Dolly Parton is lacking when I say that our nation's leaders have been "busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest".
And still, we are a thriving nation. None can deny, no matter how disgruntled they may be with the White House, that this has been a year unparalleled in our nation's history. One year ago, who knew that President Obama and former Senator Clinton would work together so harmoniously to achieve the common goal of making our country a home to be proud of once again? The rich may not be as rich, but I envision a time when all Americans will be proud to call this comparatively young and new country home once again.
I believe President Obama sold himself short with the B+ that he awarded himself when Oprah asked the question, "How would you grade your performance so far in the White House?" He was at a B- when he became the first black President of the United States of America, a B+ when he got his health care bill farther than any President in our history has dared even try, and an A- for stabilizing an economy which one year ago was breathing its last breath. If health care reform passes and all of our citizens are afforded quality medical care without being saddled with obscene debt then we should all take out our red ink and write a big A+ on the Presidential report card. Perhaps even a smiley face, at the risk of insulting the President's masculinity.
Does this mean that this is the only progress that we expect to see in this administration? Absolutely not. There is still a lot of work to be done and I am confident that the President is more aware than anyone of the challenges that face him. But we mustn't grade his progress thus far on his handlings of the wars that he inherited from the former administration. We finished the job in Iraq. The problems in Afghanistan were brewing when President Obama took his helm. As someone who is unapologetically anti-war, I can see no other way to cultivate our nation's position as the largest world power than to continue stabilizing the Middle East. It is heart breaking that 30,000 troops must go to Afghanistan this Holiday season, but the troops who I have spoken with are proud to fight for this country and all of its objectives. After all, that's what they signed up for.
Regarding Civil rights, the first African American in the White House isn't the only accomplishment we have to be proud of. My gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered brothers and sisters are closer to equal rights than we have ever been, with a few states even offering full marriage equality. I can only hope to live to see a time when gays in Arkansas will realize this same equality. Though virtually meaningless in the eyes of the law, I applaud the community of Eureka springs and its bravery in allowing its citizens in same sex partnerships to register as domestic partners. I see this as a beacon of hope among some leaders to recognize homosexuality as an identity and not as a choice. I applaud the presbytery of Arkansas in voting to ordain openly gay ordained ministry in the Church. After all, God's word is for all the people, not only those who identify as heterosexual and male. I applaud the ten year old Will Phillips for refusing to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance until it truly means what it says: one nation under God, with liberty and justice for all. And most of all, I applaud my own faith tradition the Episcopal Church for continuing to affirm the worth and dignity of all of God's people.
It is Christmas time and I have much to be thankful for. Winter is upon us and I believe the current economic conditions are humbling many of us, if not most of us. Nonprofits and charitable organizations are in demand perhaps more than they have been in three quarters of a century. Unsurprisingly, the good citizens of this nation realize this and are prepared to do whatever is necessary to ensure an equitable place to live for all. This is the America that our founders envisioned. We are finally realizing the dream of our nation's forefathers. Be proud of the living history in which you are participating. Love your brothers and sisters in humanity unapologetically and strive for goodness. We will achieve equality. We must. Happy Holidays and God Bless America.
This was written by David Kendrick and first published on his blog at http://www.someonesbastardstepchild.blogspot.com/.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Against the Wall
This is a short story that I wrote. I am entering it into a short story contest in which, if selected, it will be published and win a cash prize. Enjoy, and wish me luck!
The voice came over the loudspeaker, “Southwest Airlines Flight 23 nonstop service to Dallas, now boarding all passengers with priority seating.” I gasped for what I was sure would be the last breath of air that I shared in the same room with Javi. He looked into my eyes apologetically. I knew that it was truly over this time, that Javi had made his decision, and that he was convinced the journey on which he was embarking when he boarded this plane was one that was necessary to both of our lives.
As he hugged me one last time, I found myself no longer able to contain my tears which only an hour ago were so easily masked with anger. We had given a good go of it, our relationship. I had loved Javi more than I had ever loved anyone. Still do, despite what I’m about to tell you, as a matter of fact.
We had met as so many do, in a bar, in one of the shady corners of Little Rock. I believe it was my 24th birthday. It was a night filled with ecstasy, booze, and drag queens. I was standing against the wall, admiring the art of female impersonation, when he walked passed in his black leather coat, his boyfriend leading him by the hand. Javi looked back at me with a gorgeous smile and our eyes met.
I watched the two of them as they walked across the grand expanse of the Athena Showroom, graciously nodding at what seemed like everyone they passed. They appeared to know everyone, not like me. I knew no one there, except my roommate, who last I knew was buried in a cloud of smoke somewhere in the techno room. Javi leaned against the wall opposite me as his boyfriend approached the bar for their drinks. I was sure our eyes met again.
After the last number by Dominique Sanchez, the legendary matriarch of the showroom, I exited the door closest me for the techno room to find my roommate. I quickly located her red hair, the red glow in the dark ring around her neck, and the lollipop in her mouth. She was dancing with a beautiful girl I knew she had just met. I found myself again against the wall admiring my roommate’s uncanny ability to meet and become so comfortable with someone in almost any environment. I couldn’t do this; I had always been a loner.
I remember watching sweaty bodies pass by me for what seemed like hours. I was approached by a couple of what I considered at the time undesirables: older men who wanted to make me their trophy. Now, I love being a trophy for an older man. But then, I shrugged them off one by one. Perhaps this was why I found myself so alone.
And then it happened. I felt the cool touch of leather on the naked skin of my arm, which was exposed by the sleeveless t-shirt I was wearing. I turned around and looked into his eyes. Javi was there. From that point until now, he had hardly left my side.
We had been through so much heartache. I learned about my disease, Human Immuno Deficiency Virus, in a certified letter at the post office. “We regret that we are unable to approve your application for life insurance as your lab results indicate the presence of the HIV virus. We strongly recommend that you consult your physician.”
We made love and we fought. We cared for one another and we hated one another. But most importantly, we needed one another. Javi was not legal in this country and his life was so hard. He only wanted to be someone who was recognized for more than his gorgeous looks.
And now, here we were. We were saying goodbye. The recession had taken my job. Mental illness had taken most of my sanity. Javi couldn’t get a job, legally. He couldn’t take it anymore, and deep inside I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t like the person I had become either.
I remember taking one last breath of the air freshened by Javi’s Diesel cologne. He kissed me on the cheek. I felt his stubble dry my tears as he pulled away and walked to the ramp. He turned and our eyes met once again. He promised that he would send money to help me. He had clients, good ones. He knew this was the only way to take care of the both of us in a country that overwhelmingly detested his existence. I knew that he really still loved me.
I get money orders to help pay the phone bills, the electricity, and the mortgage. I hear his voice once in a while in a phone call from Chicago, New York, Nashville, or DC. He’s there to be a date to a swanky party, a one hour companion to a business traveler in a hotel room, or a release for a lonely politician who dares not be himself.
I realize that Javi isn’t coming home now. Some months the money comes, and some months it doesn’t. Even on these months, I make due. Nonetheless, Javi’s eyes are always in my dreams. I am awakened when I hear him speaking Spanish in my sleep as if he still lies next to me in our bed. Javi’s gone now but my love for him will always remain. I see the sky beginning to light through the blinds. I roll back over in my bed, pulling the down comforter closer to my body, and utter the words, “Buena suerte, Javier. Te quiero.” (Good luck, Javier. I love you.)
Against the Wall
The voice came over the loudspeaker, “Southwest Airlines Flight 23 nonstop service to Dallas, now boarding all passengers with priority seating.” I gasped for what I was sure would be the last breath of air that I shared in the same room with Javi. He looked into my eyes apologetically. I knew that it was truly over this time, that Javi had made his decision, and that he was convinced the journey on which he was embarking when he boarded this plane was one that was necessary to both of our lives.
As he hugged me one last time, I found myself no longer able to contain my tears which only an hour ago were so easily masked with anger. We had given a good go of it, our relationship. I had loved Javi more than I had ever loved anyone. Still do, despite what I’m about to tell you, as a matter of fact.
We had met as so many do, in a bar, in one of the shady corners of Little Rock. I believe it was my 24th birthday. It was a night filled with ecstasy, booze, and drag queens. I was standing against the wall, admiring the art of female impersonation, when he walked passed in his black leather coat, his boyfriend leading him by the hand. Javi looked back at me with a gorgeous smile and our eyes met.
I watched the two of them as they walked across the grand expanse of the Athena Showroom, graciously nodding at what seemed like everyone they passed. They appeared to know everyone, not like me. I knew no one there, except my roommate, who last I knew was buried in a cloud of smoke somewhere in the techno room. Javi leaned against the wall opposite me as his boyfriend approached the bar for their drinks. I was sure our eyes met again.
After the last number by Dominique Sanchez, the legendary matriarch of the showroom, I exited the door closest me for the techno room to find my roommate. I quickly located her red hair, the red glow in the dark ring around her neck, and the lollipop in her mouth. She was dancing with a beautiful girl I knew she had just met. I found myself again against the wall admiring my roommate’s uncanny ability to meet and become so comfortable with someone in almost any environment. I couldn’t do this; I had always been a loner.
I remember watching sweaty bodies pass by me for what seemed like hours. I was approached by a couple of what I considered at the time undesirables: older men who wanted to make me their trophy. Now, I love being a trophy for an older man. But then, I shrugged them off one by one. Perhaps this was why I found myself so alone.
And then it happened. I felt the cool touch of leather on the naked skin of my arm, which was exposed by the sleeveless t-shirt I was wearing. I turned around and looked into his eyes. Javi was there. From that point until now, he had hardly left my side.
We had been through so much heartache. I learned about my disease, Human Immuno Deficiency Virus, in a certified letter at the post office. “We regret that we are unable to approve your application for life insurance as your lab results indicate the presence of the HIV virus. We strongly recommend that you consult your physician.”
We made love and we fought. We cared for one another and we hated one another. But most importantly, we needed one another. Javi was not legal in this country and his life was so hard. He only wanted to be someone who was recognized for more than his gorgeous looks.
And now, here we were. We were saying goodbye. The recession had taken my job. Mental illness had taken most of my sanity. Javi couldn’t get a job, legally. He couldn’t take it anymore, and deep inside I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t like the person I had become either.
I remember taking one last breath of the air freshened by Javi’s Diesel cologne. He kissed me on the cheek. I felt his stubble dry my tears as he pulled away and walked to the ramp. He turned and our eyes met once again. He promised that he would send money to help me. He had clients, good ones. He knew this was the only way to take care of the both of us in a country that overwhelmingly detested his existence. I knew that he really still loved me.
I get money orders to help pay the phone bills, the electricity, and the mortgage. I hear his voice once in a while in a phone call from Chicago, New York, Nashville, or DC. He’s there to be a date to a swanky party, a one hour companion to a business traveler in a hotel room, or a release for a lonely politician who dares not be himself.
I realize that Javi isn’t coming home now. Some months the money comes, and some months it doesn’t. Even on these months, I make due. Nonetheless, Javi’s eyes are always in my dreams. I am awakened when I hear him speaking Spanish in my sleep as if he still lies next to me in our bed. Javi’s gone now but my love for him will always remain. I see the sky beginning to light through the blinds. I roll back over in my bed, pulling the down comforter closer to my body, and utter the words, “Buena suerte, Javier. Te quiero.” (Good luck, Javier. I love you.)
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
On the Side of Angels
It's been a while since I've put thoughts here. Finishing the semester has been a challenge, but today I will take my final exam. I'm thankful to have this over with and I long for January when I will start with a fresh slate. A friend told me last night that he didn't believe in New Year's Resolutions. "After all," he said, "We always break New Year's Resolutions. I just set goals for the year." This is an approach that I think I will take in 2010. I've given New Year's Resolutions a good go for thirty years. This sounds worth a shot.
2009 has been a roller coaster ride. I am so close to finishing school that I can taste it. I'm not sure yet what I want to do when I finish next December. Perhaps, I will get a job teaching Spanish in the public schools. I would like to devote a good portion of time to my writing. I think I have a lot of good ideas.
I just finished Anne Rice's Angel Time. It was truly a gripping novel, and what a twist from her old style: from vampires to witches, her own return to the church and the travels of the historical Jesus, and now to a hit man who is approached by the Angel Malchia and urged to give up his old life and do the work of the angels. This is a must read!
There's not much else to say now. I'm setting the table for dinner with a special friend tonight. Good luck to everyone with final exams and their goals for 2010. Peace.
2009 has been a roller coaster ride. I am so close to finishing school that I can taste it. I'm not sure yet what I want to do when I finish next December. Perhaps, I will get a job teaching Spanish in the public schools. I would like to devote a good portion of time to my writing. I think I have a lot of good ideas.
I just finished Anne Rice's Angel Time. It was truly a gripping novel, and what a twist from her old style: from vampires to witches, her own return to the church and the travels of the historical Jesus, and now to a hit man who is approached by the Angel Malchia and urged to give up his old life and do the work of the angels. This is a must read!
There's not much else to say now. I'm setting the table for dinner with a special friend tonight. Good luck to everyone with final exams and their goals for 2010. Peace.
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